June 15, 2011
It was with a great sense of breathe-deeply relief that I mowed the lawn this afternoon: the distinct relief of an activity that was simple and soothingly productive. Relief from the hourly–momently–self-checks and reminders that I need not panic, that He will give me the ability to do this work set before me. Relief from the excitement of the work ahead tempered by my “much-afraid” tendencies when the unknown is ahead. Relief from the constant to-do-list additions and wondering what the next, most-important thing now is.
But God spoke a word of truth to my soul. I awoke with the message “God deals with me gently” running through my head the other day. And it is so very true. Every time I feel it is all too much, that He has given me more than I can handle, that I will just sink under the pressure . . . the feared-for arrives and then the reality is so much easier, so much simpler than I could have possibly imagined. Yes, God deals gently with me.
So as I mowed, I noticed for the first time this trailer that I have been meaning to look for since Oma told me about it last week. I forgot to look, with the urgency of the days. But this trailer reminds me of all that is real, and true. It reminds me of my family heritage. I am my father’s daughter. And he made this in his younger days, deciding that the need for a trailer provided the perfect opportunity for him to test out his creative carpentry skills. Here it is still, so very many years later. A reminder of the life I came from, of the legacy I am blessed with, and of the simple goodness of this life I have been entrusted with.