wilt thou refuse?

February 2, 2012

“You are I know the most uncapable person, weak and sinful, but just because you are that I want to use you, for my Glory! Wilt thou refuse?”
Wilt thou refuse?
My eyes filled with tears when I read these words, penned by Mother Theresa in her biography. Knowing well, by this point in my life, that it is through my tears that God speaks most clearly into my life, the tears in my eyes promptly turned to fear. Oh Lord, have mercy! I prayed. This cup I drink from at the moment—this life You have given me—feels like too much as it is: how can I take another call from you here . . . now?
I do know that I am at a precipice of decision-making. And as such, I suppose it is fitting that I would be called to something in the near future. But how do I tame my fearful soul? Ah, but then again—how soon I forget . . . how could I forget? Remember! Remember the words God spoke to this same fearful heart so recently in my life story! For He deals with me gently. No new burden shall come that does not come with the releasing of another, and with the strength to take it—and to take it with joy.
Only hours after this teary-eyed moment, a troubled teen came to me. She was angry, and confused, needing an ear. So I gave my ears and spent an hour in sweet conversation. I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that it was a divinely orchestrated time of communion. And I knew that He had chosen to use my weak and sinful life to speak love into another. Lord help me if I ever turn down Your call to rise up and soar above human limitations. There is grace for this weakness. There is joy.

One Response to “wilt thou refuse?”

  1. KIm said

    Anna, You take my breath away with this missive. The fear, the dread, the wondering if you are good enough and up to the challenge. He is so good to send each of us to speak love to one another.

    I am reading a book I think you would like. It’s by Debbie Macomber and it is God’s Guest List. The jacket says in part, “The author takes readers on a journey to discover the shaping influence others have on us and the power we have to shape and influence those whose paths cross ours.”

    Sounds like there are some pretty special folks who are on your guest list, and on whose list you are.

    Blessings and prayers around the globe to you!

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