July 4, 2012

Wow. It is amazing how the process of going through old photos dredges up past emotions. And amazing how one’s present reality gives clarity about said emotions. As I compile and sort through the photos I’ve taken over the past year, I am discovering how draining this seemingly simple process is. Draining in that it brings back all the hurts, stresses, and joys, making me relive them in a way that has me periodically putting a hand to my heart with a whispered “Wow!” How easy it is to just flow from one day to the next without realizing what one’s current state of mind really is, at the deepest core of oneself. But I think that must also be the saving grace of it: we surely would not have the strength to carry on if we knew how long a season of hardship would last. I know I would not have been able to.
No wonder. No wonder I lose my composure so easily now that I have finished this past school year. No wonder I cry at the drop of a hat when asked about my year, about my work, about my life . . .
Thanks be to God for the grace of the moment, and for the blessed shortsightedness that gives us the strength to carry on.
But that year has passed. And for the moment–for this summer season at least–there is the serendipitous combination of both time and freedom. Freedom to roam. Freedom to enjoy the people in my life. So last night, once the day’s work was done, a group of us went into the city to explore. I had never walked down Beale Street before [most of us had not, in fact], so we figured we should be touristically liberal . . . perchance, to pose upon a famous bar countertop?