what is to come

October 21, 2012

In a split second, my reaction went from “Oh, how beautiful!” to “Lord, have mercy!” In fact, it could have even been a reversed response. The reason for this tempered norm, as far as my usual appreciation for beauty is, quite simply, my fear of the cold.
This morning was the first time this year that I’ve seen the mountains fully coated like this. It is a stunning sight in the early morning light. But my sensibilities switch instantly, from beauty-appreciation to a combined cerebral and physical memory of last winter. The temperature has begun to drop rapidly, and we will have no methods of heat for some time yet. So for the past week I have had an underlying sense of anxiety about the pending wintery doom. It is not quite a rational fear, as eventually there will be heat, even if it is rather inadequate. But I have no rationally reasoning mind when it comes to my memory of cold. Well, I can reason with my mind, I suppose; but it does little for my fearful spirit.
To be fair [need I be fair to the weather?], it did get significantly warmer today than it did over the past few days. The sun came out and warmed both the air and my own spirits. But I know, too well, what is to come.
Ye of little courage.
Someone dear to me once complimented me hugely, calling me brave. I don’t feel very brave right now. But here’s to a hope for enough braveness to face the winter . . . and maybe a bit of hope for temperature-mildness this year, to boot :-)

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