a family tree

Lord help me . . . I don’t wanna start over again. A part of me is clenching my fists like a stubborn child right now, saying [like I did when I was a small boarding school student], “Ine! Nakana!” No! I don’t want to!
I have grown comfortable in this home, with this “family.” As Professor Higgins sang to Eliza, “I’ve grown accustomed to your face.” Like an awkward lover, I feel like declaring my love to all to all around me these days. I feel that anxiety that comes when time is short and days are numbered, the pressure to make the most of it all. Reluctantly. Yet here I am, readying to leave, to start over again, who knows where? What can I do now but trust that my next landing point will be divinely orchestrated and unforeseeably blessed.
As we neared the starting time for our staff/compound potluck meal today, I realized that no one had planned any sort of Thanksgiving activity like we had last year. So I quickly put together a “Thanksgiving tree.” I decided to do paper rings as ornaments on the branches, so I made one as a demonstration, putting the first thing that came to mind on my own ring: “I am thankful for my ISK family.” And it is true. I am. I am blessed with an incredibly family, by blood. And I am doubly blessed by the family of the communities that get to fill my current working, playing, and living life.