in a day
January 10, 2013
Some days, daily life is just a bit too real for comfort. I’ve never sat too well with the daily, anyhow. Years ago, I recall my sister telling me something that stuck with me, and that has resonated in my head each time I find myself faced with the challenge of the humdrum dailies. I was relaying to her something I was stressing about at the time [I cannot for the life of me recall what it was] when she cut me off with the observation that, “You do know, Anna, that if there’s not something stressful already happening in your life, you will create something that will be.” Yikes. Do I really? Yes, I suspect it is true.
The older I get the more I realize that this is both a gift and a curse. It is a gift in that it allows me to thrive in situations of constant challenge. I can, for the most part, roll with a life of the unexpected relatively well; and I have no interest in pursuing a life of ease. But it is a curse in that I cannot sit very well with simple pleasures, and I quickly distrust a period of calm in my life.
Take my current period of transition. The demands placed on me these days are not as urgent as they have been in other periods of my life. Today I have been joking about my family taxi service, as I drop off and pick up various members. And today I am not-so-inclined-to-joke about the realization that I am quite accustomed to bending down to tie others’ shoelaces; but the act of putting on shoes these days is not so mindless of a task. When the shoes one is tying the laces of belong to one who used to tie my own, it does not happen so lightly. Nor does any of the other business of a day, for that matter, be it buying groceries or watching the progress of a rail being installed. No, in so many ways, normal family life in this case is just as intense as “living in a war zone.” I put that phrase in quotation marks because sometimes speaking of it in such a way makes me uncomfortable. It is, at times, proclaimed as some sort of badge of honor when the truth of it is that we each live where we live, the best we can, and have no greater challenges than anyone else simply due to a spot on the map.
When it comes down to it, I pray that my words and actions here in the humdrum are as true to the true One as He grants me the power to be. May my steps be soft, may my words be gently, may my eyes be heavenward-focused.