a thing of beauty

August 11, 2013

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They say He will not give us more than we can handle. I used to say the same. But years go by, and life happens, and I start to suspect otherwise. I start to suspect that, in fact, there are plenty of more-than-I-can-handles in life as I know it. This is more than I can handle. But, like I’ve said, I’ve been here before. So the question for me now is not if I can handle it.
The funny thing about writing that phrase is that those precise words were used by a coworker the other day as he came to me with a request. “Can you handle it?” I didn’t answer him—just laughed and repeated his words, personalizing them: “Can I handle it?” I did not even intentionally avoid the question. But realizing that I did makes me suspect that my response was more true than I knew at the time . . . because the answer, in a broader scale, is “no.” In that particular case, his request was, thankfully, quite manageable ☺
That leads me to the crux of the issue at the moment. Can I handle it? No. So what do I do now, knowing I cannot? I think, perhaps, I am being called to patience. Can I sit in the uncertainty of it all? Can I let go of my desire [i.e. perceived need] for control? Can I listen for God’s voice, and watch for His providence, His divine solution?
God, grant me the serenity . . .
This morning as we sat next to each other in the Sunday service, my friend looked over at me, then down at her wrist. She took off the bracelet she was wearing and whispered, “Can I give this to you?” I must have looked confused because she then clarified, “It will look beautiful on you . . .”
I smiled and accepted, wrapping it around on my own wrist the way she had done on hers. The funny thing is that we celebrated her birthday yesterday, and she stipulated no gifts for her party. We were at least allowed to go around and each list something we love about her, which her husband wrote down for her to keep. But her she is giving away items of beauty that she has handcrafted. Because that’s the kind of person she is. And this is the kind of thing she does. My prayer is that I will be able to be that sort of person, blessing the days of others even when I feel unequipped for my own life task.

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2 Responses to “a thing of beauty”

  1. Julia said

    I love this, Anna. And yes, we definitely need to go hiking in Appalachia again before too long. I have daydreams of being a section hiker on the AT one day. Want to join me? : )

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